Your Movie Sucks

 

Your Movie Sucks – by Roger Ebert

This is the first “bad movies” compilation by the late film critic Roger Ebert that I’ve read.  I’ve read a couple of his “good movies” collations, and what draws me to these volumes is not the fact that I necessarily enjoy movies, but I always loved to read Ebert’s reflections of the films.  He understood the art better than just about anybody and was gifted with a large brain to where his reflections were not only informative, but highly enjoyable for a reader.

This was especially true when reading one of Ebert’s reviews of a particularly bad movie.  He was very gifted at pointing out intricacies of a film that were ridiculously stupid that your average viewer might not be able to quickly pick up on when watching.  For example, I remember his review of the atrocious “Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man” (not featured in this book), he made the observation that the patrons of the bar decided to rob a bank in order to pay the debt of the bar.  Ebert points out that the bank that the boneheads rob just so happens to be the same bank that the bar is indebted.   So, Ebert tells us, “I bet the bank is going to be REAL happy to get their money back.”

So, most of the reviews here feature many of the same quips that are probably more entertaining than the actual movie itself.  I should point out that all these movies in this book were released in the ten-year period between 1995 – 2005.  I must admit I found that fact a bit of a disappointment.   I guess I was hoping that he would have focused on, say, forty years instead of ten which meant that he would have been forced to focus on only the REALLY bad ones.  Perhaps there are simply too many movies that “suck”, and Ebert already had enough to where he could only include ten years?  Sad if you think about it.

It was also a bit of a disappointment for me since I had only seen a grand total of ONE of of the movies that are included here. (And, to be fair, I didn’t think it was as bad as Ebert did. But, Lord, it wasn’t good.) I mention this because it’s always a bit more rewarding to read about someone’s opinion of a film if you have seen it as well.   Still, though, based on Ebert’s opinions, maybe I should be glad that I chose to spend 90 minutes of my life doing something different than watching many of these turkeys.

I must confess that I enjoyed his “good movies” books a bit more.  Perhaps if, as I mentioned, he would only had included the VERY worst of the worst here, I would have enjoyed this one more.  Still, I really can’t fault the author since I personally didn’t see most of the movies here.  I DO confess I was tempted to click over to IMDB.com and watch a few of the trailers as well as read some other critics’ reflections.  Safe to say, I’m guessing I would have had the same sentiments as Ebert did.

Again, the real highlight is reading Ebert’s reflections of many of the idiocies he was forced to watch and endure as part of his job.  I laughed out loud at times and highlighted my eBook often with his observations of banality and ridiculousness.  So, yes, the reviews were probably better than the films themselves, which is why you might just enjoy reading this.