So Many Ways To Lose

 

So Many Ways to Lose – by Devin Gordon

Ahh. The New York Mets.  One could make the argument that the New York Mets are the most colorful major league team in the history of baseball. This is a book that you don’t have to be a fan of the Mets to enjoy. That’s a credit to author Devin Gordon, but it also needs to be pointed out that such a book about just about any other team in the history of the Major Leagues wouldn’t be nearly as interesting.  No offense if you’re a fan of such teams, but I can’t imagine a book like this being written about the Seattle Mariners, the Pittsburgh Pirates, or the Minnesota Twins.

This book is not a comprehensive history of the New York Mets since their inception in 1962.  There are huge chunks of history and personalities from this team that aren’t even mentioned. Instead, Gordon (who is a fan) walks his readers through some of the more memorable times in the history of team.  Mostly (as the title implies) the Mets are underachievers and manage to lose an awful lot of games.  Even when they DO win, say 1969 or 1986, they manage to quickly muck things up and quickly become losers once again.

The author is quite crass. Although it’s all meant to be humorous and fun, the writing can come across as quite sardonic at times. Example: Since he’s a Mets fan, he obliviously hates the Yankees.  Therefore, we get two chapters with the pleasant titles “F___ the Yankees Part 1” and “F___ the Yankees Part 2”.  Just so I’m clear, the literal word he uses isn’t “F___” but rather the actual word you’re thinking of right now. So, yes, it can be a bit much. However the book isn’t a giant gripe-fest, and Gordon manages to say many positive things and give credit where credit is due; even if the “credit” may still be obfuscated with plenty of holes. When he writes his chapter on the building and opening of Shea Stadium in 1964, for example, he manages to somehow paint the picture that the stadium is both a beautiful piece of modern architecture and an ugly monstrosity at the very same time.

There are also plenty of “bad” guys associated with the team according to the author, and he doesn’t pull any punches. He has a lot of vitriol towards original owner M. Donald Grant, and he’s not a big fan of manager Yogi Berra.   Some history gets covered quite extensively and Gordon mostly manages to keep things interesting.  His chapter on the Tom Seaver midnight massacre is well told, as is the chapter detailing issues with Cleon Jones and the (what the author felt) racist accusations that confronted him and probably somewhat damaged his overall contribution.   Sometimes, though, the stories can get a bit tiring.  His chapter describing the conflict between Mike Piazza and Roger Clemens seems to drag on too long, and a couple of the later chapters seem to highlight too much of the “business” side of the club as opposed to what was happening on the actual ballfield.

Despite the author’s tendency to come across as a Grumpy Gus, there were many times when I would laugh out loud for minutes (no seriously – minutes) at some of his observations and how he related them to the readers.  The chapter detailing the mascot in the late 1970s “Mettle the Mule” (a real mule) was particularly amusing. Apparently the Mets used a real mule as a mascot in order to save money.  A lot of the humor is hard for me to describe in a written review, but I’ll try to give one example. When the Mets made it to the NLCS in 1986, the author introduces us to Astro pitcher Mike Scott.  The verbiage in the paragraph, verbatim, is as follows:

 

…all of a sudden, Mike Scott was unhittable. Boom. Just like that. He went from 5-11 with a 4.68 ERA in 1984 to 18-8 and a 3.28 ERA in 1985, and then in 1986 he took another quantum leap. His ERA dropped another full run, and his strikeout total went through the roof, from 137 to 306. In one year, he went from a junkballer to Sandy Koufax. In two years, he went from castoff to Cy Young.
Hmmm.

 

That last sentence. That last sentence that is only one word.  Reading this caused me to nearly wake up my family while reading late at night because I laughed so hard and so long. That one word.  Well, if you know the history of Mike Scott and the allegations against him that year, you know exactly where the author was going with this one-word sentence. (If you don’t, I won’t go into it here, a Google search can help.) This book has a lot of observations like this, and such humor manages to lift the book a few notches.  Again, it can be harsh, but once you know where the author’s heart is, it makes it not so bad.

OK, I can’t resist. Here’s one more example where he’s critical of the current Yankee announcers such as Dave Cone and Al Leiter:

 

Almost all of them specialize in either vapid wisdom that begins with the phrase “All you young ballplayers out there….” Or homerism so acute that I once heard Ken Singleton, another former Met, whose velvet voice has the emotional range of Vladimir Putin, applaud Aaron Judge for striking out: “He took a chance and it didn’t work out.” The chance Judge took was swinging, which is his job.

 

Plus, he’s also obviously frustrated with his favorite team’s blunders year after year.  You can almost imagine what he’s thinking when the Mets are having a good run. It’s probably never “This is it! This is our year!” but rather “I wonder how soon we’ll blow it again?”

A very enjoyable read for anyone who’s a fan of major league baseball.  You don’t even have to be a “new” fan or an “old” fan to enjoy. Gordon does a great job providing detail that helps readers if they may not have followed the game, say, half a century ago.  It also helps that there are masses of YouTube videos out there that illustrate many of the stories he wonderfully tells.

A colorful team indeed. A colorful book as well.