M.A.S.H.

M.A.S.H. – by Richard Hooker

For those such as myself that grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, the TV show M.A.S.H. was a must.  Real fans of the show knew that the show was loosely based on a 1969 movie of the same name.  The movie was loosely based on a screenplay, which was loosely based on this book, which was loosely based on the author’s firsthand recollections serving as a surgeon in a mobile army surgical hospital during the Korean War.  Since the dots between all of these pieces weren’t really connected in a very linear fashion, it’s clear to see that one shouldn’t expect any of these incarnations to really be that similar.  Such as the case here.  To be blunt, this really isn’t that good of a book.  I seem to recall it was rejected by a dozen or so publishers before the author finally found a home to distribute his reflections.

One really shouldn’t expect too much from a doctor writing about his wacky former endeavors.  Writing a novel sounds easy, but very few do it well.  Had I not been such a huge fan of the show, I doubt I would have ever even fathomed the idea of attempting to read this thing.  I doubt many other people would have either. I should also point out that when director Robert Altman made this story into a film, he basically threw the screenplay out the window and filmed the movie with his own vision and idiosyncrasies that made him such a popular director in many circles.  In short, he made his movie one that focused more on day to day interactions and craziness as opposed to trying to tell any sort of direct story.

The M.A.S.H. units in the Korean War were hospitals close to the fighting. Wounded soldiers were sometimes shipped in around the clock, and this book tells of the escapades of the doctors and nurses that found themselves far away from anything they could have ever imagined.  When it was busy, the medical staff was top notch. When things were slow, the staff engaged in silly, strange, shenanigans to pass the time that seemed a far cry from what one might expect when they think of professionals in the medical field.

The main characters are a trio of surgeons – Hawkeye, Duke, and Trapper John.  Between the booze, the sex, and the mean pranks that they play on their undesirable co-workers, it seems as though a normal person wouldn’t trust any of these three doctors to treat them for anything as simple as dandruff.  Maybe war really is hell, but I just found the escapades too off the wall and, unlike the movie and the show, I simply didn’t find anything this trio did as very believable, let alone funny.  There isn’t much around character development either.  The three doctors are essentially carbon copies of each other. The only distinction is that Duke, being from the south, says ‘y’all’ instead of ‘you’ when talking to someone.

Each chapter is broken down into one of their escapades, and one can see where some of the ideas in the show and the movie were birthed, but it was always done much better there than what we read here.  We read about quests to find epileptic whores, building mermaid traps, and pretending to assist a fellow doctor in a suicide until he comes to his senses.  One episode was particularly stupid; they’re trying to raise about $5,000 to send their Korean houseboy to the U.S. so he can attend college, so they take a picture of Trapper John posing as Jesus Christ and sell copies to GIs for $1 a snap.  They raise the cash rather quickly.  Seriously?   I didn’t realize that surgeons in 1952 had long hair and/or beards, but I wasn’t there, so what do I know?

We also read lots of medical jargon. When the doctors are in the operating room, we get play by play accounts of the particular surgical procedures that the doctors are performing.  This shows off the author’s expertise in such matters, but it doesn’t really make interesting reading.  Again, I’m sure if I was a former surgeon trying to write a book, I might be tempted to do the same thing.

I also know that after the show became popular, the author tried to cash in by penning several follow-ups with titles such as “M.A.S.H. Goes to Texas”, “M.A.S.H. Goes to London”, “M.A.S.H. Goes to Maine”, etc.  Not surprisingly, all of these books basically flopped; even when the television show was the most popular thing in pop culture at the time.

If you were a serious fan of the show, this book is somewhat interesting to see how the origins of the characters and setting was born, but it’s overall quite disappointing. Fortunately it’s a brief read clocking in at about 180 pages in paperback.